they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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