I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
