I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
