New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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