You work out of a Hotel?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
