So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
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We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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