carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize