My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
they're like a gay fantastic four
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
