I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
