Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
