I must be too annoying 4 u.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
