i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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