remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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