Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize