Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
