I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
