We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
cat food counts as protein by the way
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
