hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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