apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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