so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
