i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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