well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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