so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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