I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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