What did we do last night that was yellow?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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