Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
