Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize