by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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