cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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