He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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