I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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