maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
