I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
