I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
