On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize