Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
