every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
