I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
