I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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