I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
