Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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