I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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