how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
