I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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