I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
