I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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