I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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