4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
