thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
