i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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