It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
