Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
