I hate all girls vehemently.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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