is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
