kristin has been a bad kristin
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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