We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
