is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
