We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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