my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
