I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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