David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize