I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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