I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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