you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
