if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
